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One Journey Consulting
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April 2010
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It's finally that time of
the year! The Red Sox are playing, grass is growing
and the sun is shining! This time of year always fills us with budding optimism
for what's ahead. One Journey Consulting has several upcoming services to
support you (or those you know) in emerging from the winter of personal
transition to rediscover the hope of spring.
We hope you
find what you need here.
Renee and Di
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Reflections on the Journey by Renee Cooper
I write this column from the shores of the Atlantic,
watching the crashing waves from the warm protection of my sturdy cottage,
witnessing winter's last gusts before spring takes firm hold of a New England
April once again. It's cold and rainy today, but the forsythia are in bloom and
there is no doubt that after a long, dreary winter, a bright hopeful world is
about to explode into being.
It reminds me of the journey our clients take when they
first come to the Journey of Divorce Base Camp program. I remember one woman in
particular -- I'll call her 'Vicki'. When Vicki first came to Base Camp about
nine months ago, her husband had just left, suddenly, to be with another woman,
leaving Vicki alone with their three kids, a house to run, not enough money, and
an ocean of anger and grief. It was a long, tough winter for Vicki, with her
emotional weather mirroring the bitter cold and raging nor'easters outside.
But Vicki had found our program through a trusted
friend, and over the fall and winter Di and I witnessed her courage as she began
to shift. She realized that even though she had a lot to be angry about, she
didn't want her anger to define her. What she really wanted was to rediscover
her own sense of personal power. She wanted to move forward. So, step by step,
she "did the work" of the journey - she allowed herself to feel her feelings
without stuffing them or venting them at her ex. She took a long hard look at
her part of the dance of the marriage, what she was proud of and what she wanted
to learn to do differently. She shifted her attention away from blaming
him and instead began to focus on creating a better future for herself and
her children.
Today, she is moving towards peace with her ex as they
learn to co-parent the children they both love. She is happy, vibrant, and
beginning to date again. She has weathered her emotional winter with courage,
grace and compassion.
I am reminded of the Camus quote: In
the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible
summer.
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Upcoming Services from One Journey
Consulting
The next Journey of Divorce
Base Camp, our signature 6-week workshop series for those
separated or newly divorced, will begin on Thursday evenings, 7:15-9pm, starting April 29 and ending June 3. More
information can be found on the Calendar page of our
website.
Our Journey of
Dating workshop series continues
on April 21, May 5 and 19, June 2 and 16
from 6:30-8pm to offer support, encouragement and connection for those exploring
the dating scene (participants do not have to be actively dating). These
interactive meetings will use the dating journey as an opportunity for personal
discovery. Join us every week or
drop in when you can!
Our weekend Women's Retreat will be held on May 14-16 at a beach house in Hampton, NH.
This year's theme is From Pain to Peace: A Journey of Acceptance.
Learn to let go of the emotions, beliefs and
expectations that no longer serve you, so you can turn suffering into peace. View the flyer
for more information.
And make sure you
have saved the following dates for our other upcoming workshops (see Calendar for more
information):
Passport to Better Communication series, a new
four-week teleclass that combines an assigned text with community conversation, support and
coaching. The first book will be Difficult Conversations: How To Discuss What Matters
Most by
Douglas Stone. Begins June 25 and runs
for four consecutive Fridays 12-1pm.
What's Next: Designing the Second Half of Your Life, to
begin September 25! More details will
follow.
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Become the Butterfly by Meg Gehan
Over the past two years, I've used various activities to
cope with my divorce: yoga, meditation, coffee dates with friends, workshops and
the OJC retreat, etc. One simple, yet effective coping mechanism has been
inspirational quotes taped to my bathroom mirror. They change periodically
depending on my current state of mind and emotions. The first themes were
attempts to stay positive in the face of all the changes and struggles. The
quotes were reminders that when things felt out of control around me, I still
had control over my attitude and actions.
Recently I stumbled across this quotation on a magnet.
It hit home so profoundly, capturing the past two years of my life in its
thirteen words:
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was
over, it became a butterfly."
The first year of my separation, I was an energetic
worldwind. Manic energy propelled me through my days. I was crazed and
determined to accomplish tasks and ready myself for what was to come. I
resembled the Hungry Caterpillar- consuming everything in my path with a resolve
to keep on going no matter what stomachaches came my way.
Then this winter hit and I cocooned. My
energy abated and I longed to wrap myself in my new fleece sheets and stay warm.
And without my good sense of responsibility (and two young children), I probably
would have hidden away. Safe, cozy and comfortable. Alone and stuck.
Yet, over the past few weeks, I've felt the itch. The
desire to socialize and meet new people (perhaps of the opposite sex?). To learn
and move and feel the sun on my face. Yes, as clichéd as it is, to spread my
wings and fly.
Ironically, butterflies have always been my thing. I
love their metamorphosis and message that change can be beautiful. And they are
a perfect reminder that even when things look their darkest, something even more
wonderful may be right around the corner.
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About One Journey Consulting
One Journey Consulting is a coaching and consulting practice dedicated to personal renewal and rediscovery, particularly through the experience of divorce and other significant life transitions. Services include weekly workshops, one-day seminars, individual coaching and weekend retreats. For more information, visit www.onejourneyconsulting.com.
75 Claypit Hill Road Wayland, Massachusetts 01778 info@onejourneyconsulting.com
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